Trackside Tales: The Great Indian Loo-nacy”

 

💩 “Trackside Tales: The Great Indian Loo-nacy”

Ah, India — land of culture, curry, cricket... and the Great Railway Track Toilet.

If you’ve ever been on a train journey across the subcontinent, you may have noticed a curious phenomenon — as the dawn breaks, silhouettes emerge like clockwork. Not ghosts. Not spiritual sages. But men with a lotta guts and a water bottle, squatting along the glorious iron veins of India: the railway tracks.

This isn’t yoga. This is Yogurt-after-Biryani consequence.

🚽 To Pee or Not to Pee? That Was Never the Question

For many, the tracks are not just a place to lay rails — they are open-air meditation platforms. The philosophy? Why sit on a porcelain throne when you can feel the earth, greet the morning sun, and wave at the passing 6:47 express?

Also, bonus: the train's wind helps with... ventilation.

🎩 Etiquette of the Elite Defecator

There’s an unspoken code:

Never squat on the rails themselves (safety first, poo second).

Always carry a yellowing plastic bottle filled with water (eco-unfriendly, yet oddly sacred).

Look thoughtful. You’re not pooping; you’re pondering life.

And if someone passes by? Make eye contact. Own it. This is your spot. You've earned it after years of squatting like a seasoned track ninja.

🚂 The Danger Zone: One Wipe Away from a Tragedy

Let’s be honest: it's not the safest bathroom. There’s a real possibility of being flattened mid-fart. Some say it adds thrill. Others call it Darwinism.

Still, millions accept the risk. Why? Because "toilet is full," "public loo is locked," or worst — "there’s no toilet at all."

India’s railway tracks have seen more bowel movements than bullet trains.

💡 A Modest Proposal: Flush With Innovation

Here’s an idea: what if we turned this into a sport? Call it “The Great Indian Poopathon.” Timed laps, accuracy tests, even synchronized squatting. Judged by retired station masters and sanitation officers.

Or maybe — hear me out — build more toilets. Radical, I know.

😷 Closing Thoughts (and Nostrils)

While we can laugh at the absurdity, it’s also a reminder of a basic dignity still denied to many. So next time you're passing by someone squatting on the tracks, don’t judge — offer a salute. For they are the brave soldiers of digestion, fighting the war of urgency without walls.

And remember: Never walk barefoot near the tracks.

Ever.