Indian English - When Grammar Meets Masala

 

Indian English

When Grammar Meets Masala

Indian English is not just a language. It’s a full-blown performance art.

It’s what happens when you take British English, add a bit of local spice, fry it in centuries of colonial trauma, and serve it hot with extra punctuation and unstoppable confidence.

Let’s dive into the delicious chaos.

“Kindly revert” — The Battle Cry of Office Emails

No one in the rest of the world “reverts” unless they’re a superhero in disguise. But in Indian offices?

📧 “Dear Sir, Kindly revert at the earliest.”

Which means: “Reply fast or we’ll escalate this to three more people and a group WhatsApp.”

Prepone: Because We’re Efficient Like That

Why wait for a meeting to get postponed when you can prepone it?

Used nowhere else in the universe except India, this beautiful word flips time itself.

Example:

🕒 “Let’s prepone the call to 10 a.m.”

Translation: “Let’s ruin your morning coffee.”

“Passing out” of college — But Not Like That

In most places, “passing out” means fainting dramatically.

In India? It means graduating.

🎓 “I passed out of IIT in 2010.”

Wait — were you okay?! Did someone catch you?!

No, bro. You just got your degree.

Cousin-Brother, Cousin-Sister: Blood Is Thicker Than Grammar

We’re so family-oriented, we invent new relationships to make sure no one feels left out.

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 Your cousin is not just a cousin. He’s your cousin-brother.

👧 Your cousin is not just a cousin. She’s your cousin-sister.

It's genetically incorrect but emotionally 100% accurate.

“One Minute” = Infinity in Indian Time

When someone in India says “I’m coming in one minute,” just sit down. Maybe start a novel.

You’ve got time.

Because one minute is not 60 seconds.

It’s a state of mind.

Mixing English with Regional Languages = Peak Communication

Why use plain English when you can masala-fy it?

“What yaar, why you’re getting so hyper?”

“He’s always doing timepass.”

“I’m having full tension, da.”

“Don’t eat my head, yaar!”

Shakespeare would be both confused and proud.

And Then There’s “Only” and “Itself”

These two words are sprinkled everywhere like coriander:

“He’s like that only.”

“We’ll go now itself.”

“This is better only, no?”

Do they always make logical sense? No.

Do they feel right? Yes.

Final Thoughts: Adjust Please

Indian English is not wrong — it’s just different. It’s expressive, creative, and full of personality.

It’s where you can start a sentence in English, switch to Hindi, toss in a Tamil phrase, and end with “OK na?”

So next time someone tells you “Your English is different,” smile and say:

“It’s Indian English, boss. Please adjust.”